Voice messages are great!
...and if you disagree, your friends are using them wrong.
Why we hate voice messages
We all know that person who only sends voice messages—it feels rude.
Listening to a voice message requires more time than reading the information as text. It forces us to either use headphones or, worse, play them out loud, maybe even in a public environment. And when we just can't listen to them right away, they become a to-do item we need to remember.
A voice message shifts effort from the sender to the receiver, and that's why we hate receiving them.
How to properly use voice messages
There are two scenarios where these audio clips work well.
I love messages from my toddler nephew and accept quick notes from someone actually in a hurry. So when the sender can't type, it's better than no communication.
But the real game-changer is personal podcasts!
What are personal podcasts?
I travel a lot, so staying connected to friends and community is a real challenge for me. And I know that's true for many non-traveling people as well.
So what I've started doing is sending check-in messages from 2 to 20 minutes, where I just share how I'm feeling, what I'm loving currently, what keeps me up at night, what makes me sad, etc. And my friends reply with what's alive for them.
The key conventions everyone agrees on are:
- There is no urgency in listening to the message.
- There is no critical information in the memo (like "You're invited tonight, bring cheesecake").
- There is no obligation to respond to anything shared.
With that, I can let the message sit there for a while, and when I'm about to do the dishes or go for a walk, instead of listening to a public podcast, I listen to this window into my friends' world. And it feels great—both sending and receiving these messages.
Just having an opportunity to talk about what's on my mind is so valuable. The process of vocalizing thoughts out loud to a trusted person often creates a level of reflection and clarity that is hard to achieve by just thinking. (In fact, journaling has a similar effect on me.)
Dos and Don'ts
So to sum it up:
- Do use voice messages when you have no other option—that's totally fine.
- Don't use them for plain information, deals, appointments, answers, and similar things. Always prefer text.
- Don't use them for conversational communication. Prefer real-time calls.
- Do use voice messages as personal podcasts—sharing what's going on without expecting feedback.
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Send this to someone you’d like to stay connected with, even though you rarely find the time to meet or call.